Let's Start with the Body

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You've been told posture is important more times than you care to ever, ever, consider counting.  Your posture IS important. It needed to be said again.  If you're interested in what I have to say then listen to that.  Your mom may have told you that when you were an angst ridden teenager who enjoyed a good hunch in the shoulders and down-turned gaze, but guess what?  That posture, or anything resembling it, will not turn gazes your way.  I'm sure you've also heard about body language.  I'm sure you care about body language.  At least in others.  You make plenty of decisions about the people around you based on what their body positions say about them.  What does your body position say about you?  Are you even aware of it?  And what does your body do when you are approached by a charming man?  A sexy man?  A cute, sweet man?  Pay attention to your body.  If you can learn its signals and your habits you can speak loudly without uttering a word.  Puff your chest, or as we say in yoga, open your heart and bring your shoulders away from your ears, and tuck that tailbone!  Head over spine.  Now that is good posture.

I'll look uptight.  Not if you keep those shoulders down!  Then you just look confident.  I'll look like I'm trying to stick my butt out, not if you tuck your tailbone (work those lower abs!).  Then you'll just look strong.  Confident and strong sounds pretty sexy to me.

Posture alone can bring people to you without any initiation on your side.  Not a bad deal right?  Get more by doing less.  There is a bit of work involved at first, but it will do you and your body so much good in the long run anyway.  So what do you have to do?

1. Pay attention to your body.

Just be aware of it right now.  See what you do in different circumstances.  When you're scared, awkward, nervous, happy, confident, feeling sexy.  What's your body doing?

2. Fix your posture permanently.

The first couple weeks may suck a bit, but that's because your muscles aren't used to holding you a certain way.  Actively sit straight just like I described above.  Shoulders down and back and tuck the tailbone, pulling in right beneath your belly button.  Every time you remember, hold this posture for as long as you can, even if your back doesn't like it.  It just needs to strengthen.

3. Do it standing.

Follow the above instructions for standing.  A quick way to get to good posture: sit on the floor with your legs straight out in front of you.  Try to get your back as straight and tall as possible with your shoulders away from the ears and pull you shoulder blades together behind you.  Hold this as long as you can.  This will strengthen the right muscles quickly.

4. What are your hands doing?

Do you tend to cross your arms in front of you?  Wrap one arm around your chest or waist out of insecurity?  That's what it screams to people.  Put your hands and arms down.  Protective stances like those do not invite attention or make people feel welcomed.  Relaxed and open is how you want to look and feel.  If you practice an open friendly posture, you will feel more comfortable too.  See what you do with people you're truly comfortable with and mimic this in other social circumstances.  Notice the reactions of the people you're talking to.

Now GO!  Practice!  Make your body speak for you!