Everything is Temporary

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I know, some of you are waiting for the juicy stuff right?  We're getting there.  This is a practice, not a quick fix.  This is serious, in a fun, not so serious kind of way.  So.  I wanted to address this BIG subject today, from the start.  This is something I'm sure we'll talk about again and again. 

EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY!  It really is.  Just look at your life in timeline form.  Things have changed.  You have changed.  The people around you have changed.  Awesome.  Great.  Change is growth and you learn tons about yourself.  Sad times become happy times and vice versa.  You gain a little (or a lot), you lose a little (or everything).

Guess what though?  You cannot change him (or her.  This is relevant to any type of relationship)!  Don't EVER think about that when you start seeing someone, or are thinking about seeing someone.  Are you doing it right now?  Stop!  And you know what?  It's okay for a relationship to end.  They end all the time.  They are temporary things.  The state of a relationship between two people is constantly changing as you learn about each other, about yourself, and are honest with yourself about things.

The thing is, you never really know what will change about him.  So how do you make a decision? Imagine that he will always be the way he is (even if he is talking about the things he wants to change about himself).  Would you be happy?  If you can't be happy with him the way he is, then be real with yourself and know that you'll find someone who you are happy with as is.  You can only know how you feel right now anyway.  There is only now and the now is all you can really rely on.  I mean, it isn't fair to the other person if you have these crazy high expectations of change in a specific way that will make YOU happy.  And believing promises of change for the better in some future is very novel and romantic, but not realistic and won't make either of you happy.  Personality and habit change takes years, sometimes decades (or 60 years - love you daddy!).  Imagine if someone got into a relationship with you with the belief that you'd change the way you are and then all would be well.  You wouldn't be too happy about that right?

It's hard enough squeezing a tube of toothpaste differently for someone, let alone changing your personality for them.  You can change you.  That's about it.  So, if you have something about yourself that you want to change then do it.  Sometimes being with someone can inspire us to change things that we have wanted to change and that's great.

Back to the point here.  I got a bit caught up in my own words there.  You are the only stable person in your life.  Your choices to change yourself are in your control.  You've lived with yourself the longest.  Your presence in your life is the only unchanging part in an otherwise temporary world.  And if you're unhappy with your relationships right now, well then change that part of your life for the better.  Embrace your personal changes and remember that your state of being right now is temporary.

Hooking a guy has a whole lot to do with you.